The Family: Get The Picture

….Gran is sitting in her front room doing battle with her television set. Despite many attempts at using the remote, nothing will get the set to co-operate…

Gran: “Come on, come on..”

…her son walks in, surprised at the treatment that the remote is receiving from his mother…

Dad: “You all right, mum?”

Gran: “I can’t get my program up. It keeps talking to me, asking me questions.”

…he sits down on the couch next to her chair

Dad: “No no no, look, we’ve got this new digital box. You see, it just needs tuning in. Look, I’ll help you do it.”

…he tries to take the remote from her, but she keeps a firm hold

Gran: “No, it’s alright.”

Dad: “Right, erm, look.”

…the pair lean into the TV screen….

Dad: “Select screen size.”

Gran: “Yeah.”

Dad: “And press OK”

….he points to the screen and Gran follows his instructions ….

Gran: “Right, OK.”

Dad: “And then the set-up starts.”

Gran: “Ooo, I’ll go and make myself a cup of tea.”

…she starts to get up, but is stopped by her son….

Dad: “No no, no time for that mum, it only takes a couple of minutes”

You can see the screen loading

Dad: And it’s done.”

…. a couple of seconds later the screen shows Anne Robinson on the Weakest Link. …

Dad: “Now what do you want to watch?”

Gran: “Where’s my lovely Jamie Oliver gone?”

…her son does not share her passion for TV chefs, and with a grimace turns to his newspaper while she grins at the screen….

Dad: “Oh..”

Re-tuning

….we are back in Gran’s front room. All is not well, as she shouts out…

Gran: “Nigel! Jamie Oliver’s done a runner, I can’t find him anywhere!”

… Nigel runs in and sits down next to her….

Dad: “Eh? Oh, they must have added some new channels mum. I’ll help you re-tune it.”

…Gran, however, doesn’t understand

Gran: “Re-tune it? That’s what you do to a piano, don’t you?”

Dad: “Yeah well, kind of. What they mean is you re-set your digital box so it receives all your new channels.”

….the pair lean into the TV screen…..

Dad: “Now press menu…

…then set up.”

…we follow the retuning procedure on screen…

Gran: “Set up.”

Dad: “Then installation.”

Gran: “Installation.”

Dad: “And then first time installation. Now that’s important, that’s going to keep your digital equipment really fast and your memory clean.”

…just to tease him, she pretends to take his comment personally…

Gran: “You cheeky, there’s nothing wrong with my memory!”

Dad: “Mum…..now select yes.”

…suddenly the screen goes to black

Gran: “Oh, what’s happened? You haven’t broken it, have you?”

Dad: “No Mum, that’s now loading all your new channels.

…and lo and behold the screen comes to life and the Weakness Link appears ….

Dad: “There you go, what are you gonna watch?”

…Gran, however, does not share his enthusiasm….

Gran: “I’ve changed my mind. It was time I was down the bingo.”

….Gran gets up off the sofa and leaves the room. The son has a look of disappointment on his face as she leaves with the remote…

Dad: “But give me the remote back…”

Download a copy of this transcript